Tom is 72 years old and lives alone. His wife died several years ago of breast cancer. He has two children; a son who is in Australia and a daughter who lives and works in London. Tom’s GP referred him to the Oncology department at the local hospital where he was given a variety of tests and given another appointment. He was advised to take someone with him for this visit but decided to go alone. When he met with the consultant, despite his suspicions, he was still shocked when the doctor told him he had prostate cancer.
Tom was quite unable to take in what was said to him and when he left he could hardly remember anything that the doctor had told him. He was given a lot of leaflets containing information about his cancer but didn’t feel as though he could look at them. He didn’t want to bother his children because he didn’t know what to tell them. He felt confused, apprehensive, and depressed about his future. He would have like to have had someone to talk to but didn’t feel close enough to anyone to share his feelings. One good friend, who knew of the diagnosis, gave him a leaflet about the services offered by Dorset Advocacy and offered to help him make the call for help.
HOW DORSET CANCER ADVOCACY HELPED
When Tom contacted Dorset Cancer Advocacy, he was put in touch with a volunteer advocate, David, who arranged to meet him in his home. Tom was relieved to find David a friendly and sympathetic listener. After being assured that his privacy would be respected he felt able to tell David about his fears and concerns, mainly how to find out more about his condition, treatment and outcomes. He was also anxious about informing his son and daughter. He was unsure whether he should tell them about his diagnosis and did not want to become a burden to them. He also had financial concerns about paying for additional help, if and when they it was needed.
With the help of David, he developed a list of specific questions he had for his doctor. He and David went through the leaflets to gain more understanding of his diagnosis. He welcomed David’s offer to accompany him to the next appointment so that any remaining questions would be addressed.
Tom then told David about his son, living in Australia, and his daughter who had a very busy life in London. Although he felt it important that they know of his cancer he did not have enough information to give them. He thought that he should know more before informing them so that he could answer any questions they had. David supported this decision and they made a list of questions about sources of help and care that were available.
Finally, David was able to provide him with a list of agencies that could address his financial concerns. He also promised to return with additional information that would be helpful to him.
They arranged to meet again and David left a contact number so that Tom could contact him should he need more help. As Tom watched David drive away, he breathed a sigh of relief. Here was someone who could be a real friend and supporter, who would understand his fears and could provide support. He picked up the phone to thank his friend for helping him make the call to Dorset Cancer Advocacy.
Janet Lister, Volunteer Advocate, Dorset Cancer Advocacy
This is what we do; it’s what this project is all about. If our application to Big Lottery’s Silver Dreams Flagship programme is successful we’ll be able to support lots more people like Tom. Wish us luck!
Older People Living with Cancer 