Trick or Treat?

Today Rhonda Oliver of Advocacy in Barnet provides us with food for thought:

Halloween is looming – rooted in the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, it marks the end of Summer and the harvest, and the beginning of the cold dark winter associated with human death, when the boundary between the living and the dead becomes blurred.

According to the Office of National Statistics more people die in winter than in summer and the Grim Reaper pays most house calls in December, January and February. So, if you do not want to think about death and dying, look away now!

Is there a right time to have an advance care plan? Who should have one? What should it cover?

A care plan is for anyone, with increasing relevance for older people who are likely to be nearing the end of their lives. However, it could be for someone who has particular health needs or someone who just wants to record their choices and preferences for their care and treatment for any other reason.

It is a good idea not to leave this until a crisis happens when you may not be able to participate in making choices. In an emergency health professional may have to make rapid decisions about your treatment and a care plan can help to ensure that you get the treatment that is best for you and that you would have wanted.

A care plan is created through conversations with your family and carers, your health professionals and you. You keep the plan with you and ensure that it will be available immediately in an emergency, say to ambulance crews, out-of-hours doctors, accident & emergency and other hospital staff if you are admitted. Some people keep their care plan displayed on their fridge door; others leave it inside the fridge in a plastic bag! This is often the first place an ambulance crew will look.

The plan will guide clinicians to balance the priorities for your care, i.e. would you want them to focus on treatment to prolong life or to focus mainly on providing comfort? The plan should include your choices regarding  treatments that you would want to be considered for or those you would not want, for example would you want cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR)? If the answer to this is no then you should flag an advance decision to refuse treatment (DNR) or any other important planning documents in the plan. It is very important that your understand the parameters and implications of an advance decision to refuse treatment and that you discuss this with your GP and family.

Talk to your local advocacy organisation if you are thinking about your future care. It will support you to make your choices and preferences heard.

Once you care plan is made it is not set in stone and should be reviewed on a regular basis. It should, however, provide you with peace of mind so you can cuddle up on the sofa with your loved ones, with a cup of tea (or something stronger), watch the telly and wait for spring.

 

Rhonda Oliver, Project Manager, Barnet Macmillan Cancer Advocacy & Advocacy in Barnet

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Older people, family and public policy

Today’s guest blog is from Kirsty Woodard of Ageing Without Children:

The assumption that all older people have family is deeply embedded in our thinking, policy and delivery of care. Think of all the solutions to issues associated with ageing that start with “talk to older people and their families”. This is largely understandable; 92 per cent of unpaid care is carried out by family members; however there are already 1 million people over the age of 65 who have never been parents which will double to 2 million by 2030. Still more older people are estranged from their children, have been predeceased by them or have children in no position to support them for a variety of reasons. Add to this the growing number of older people who are single, widowed or divorced (the rate of divorce in people over 50 is rising faster than any other age group) and it is clear that an unprecedented demographic shift is taking place. More older people than ever before are living longer but are not and will not be in a position to rely on family support.

There is often an assumption that older people without children have developed good relationships with wider kin and have strong friendship networks that can step in and substitute for family. Unfortunately, the research to date shows that this only works when older people are healthy and need short term or one-off support. If or when people’s health deteriorates and care needs increase, these wider networks fall away just at the time they are needed most.

The reality of care for people without children

Unfortunately thinking and planning on care has not yet caught up with this reality. For example, 80 per cent of older people with disabilities are cared for by either their spouse or child yet the number of older people with disabilities who live alone and have no child is projected to increase rapidly, rising by nearly 80 per cent between 2007 and 2032. Evidence shows that people ageing without children receive less unpaid care than those with children and consequently are forced to rely on paid for care yet access to social care has never been so limited. People ageing without children are 25 per cent more likely to go into residential care but the residential care sector in the UK is in parlous state.  People without children are up to a third more likely to be carers for their own elderly parents but there is little focus on their specific needs as carers ageing knowing there is no adult child to support them.

As a society we must plan care around the population we have now and will in the future, not one from the past. Exhortations for families to do more not only belie the huge amount families are doing providing care and support but exclude those without.

So what can we do?

Firstly, we need to review our care services from the point of older people doing everything entirely without support from family. This includes everything from finding out information to getting their washing things in the event of unplanned hospital admission to creating a lasting power of attorney to arranging hospital discharge to searching for a care home. Only then can we see how much family support is required to make the system work and where we need to change things so it works for those without. Care services that work for people without family support will work far better for people who do have family too

Secondly, care services must make a greater effort to understand why so many more people are ageing without children and the issues that face them. It is not possible to design services that work if you do not understand the people you are designing them for. People ageing without children must be included in all co-production and planning on ageing as a matter of course.

Thirdly services must consider their use of language. Branding services with “grandparent/grans/grannies” unless they specifically mean only grandparents should use them exclude older people who are not and never will be grandparents.

Fourthly, people ageing without children should be supported to form groups both on and off line where they come together to form peer support networks. People ageing without children want to help themselves and each other.

Fifthly, the gap around advocacy must be addressed. People ageing without children have been very clear on their fears of an old age without a child to act as their intermediary and advocate in their dealings with care services particularly if they become incapacitated mentally or physically.

Finally, everyone, both people ageing without children and those who do have family, should be helped to plan for their later life.

People ageing without children must be brought into mainstream thinking on ageing. By working collectively we can as individuals, communities and wider society address the needs of older people without children or any family support. Only by working together can we care differently for people ageing without children.

The views expressed in this blog are those of the blog’s author alone and do not necessarily represent those of OPAAL (UK). OPAAL (UK) is not responsible for the accuracy of the information supplied in blogs by external contributors.

Kirsty Woodard, Ageing Without Children

At the Staffordshire Dying Matters conference

Kath Curley of Cancer, Older People and Advocacy delivery partner Beth Johnson Foundation and Staffs & Wolves Cancer Advocacy and Support Project Manager shares a post recently published on their own project blog. She tells us about her attendance at a recent conference marking Dying Matters Week:

Dying Matters Week in Staffordshire was celebrated by a Palliative and End of Life Conference organised by University Hospitals of North Midlands on Thursday 11^th  May. The Conference was entitled “I didn’t want that: Why patients’ wishes matter” and was attended by over 250 delegates from across the Midlands. BJF had a stand to promote the dementia and cancer advocacy projects and was therefore able to join the Conference.

The conference was packed

There were some eminent speakers including Dr Sara Russell, Head of Research and Clinical Innovation at Hospice UK, who showed a very thought provoking film from ZdoggMD; “Ain’t the way to die” which you can find here  

Sara’s message was that professionals should be asking “What matters to you?” rather than “What’s the matter with you?”

Amanda Cheesley, Professional Lead Long Term Conditions and End of Life Care with the Royal College of Nursing followed on and very much reiterated Sarah’s messages.  She opened by talking about the “essence” of the person – who we are, what we are – doesn’t go away when someone  dies or is dying. We should look at what is important to people emotionally, physically and spiritually.

 Jan Cooper, Regional Liaison Advisor at the General Medical Council discussed the End of Life/ Palliative Care Guidance. Decision making should be a partnership and this will require a change of culture. At one time professionals made the decisions, then it swung to patients making the decision but it should be co-production – joint decision after listening, discussing and sharing information.

 

After lunch there were two more “professionals “   presentations from Claire Henry – the Chief Executive Officer of the National Council for Palliative Care and Dr Katherine Bristowe , a post-doctoral  researcher at the Cicely Saunders Institute, Kings College, London. She has a particular interest in widening access to palliative care, and recently worked on the ACCESSCare project (funded by Marie Curie), a national qualitative interview study of LGBT people facing advanced illness and bereavement.

At this Conference the best was most definitely left until the end. The Conference closed with a presentation from Tommy Whitelaw, Project Engagement Lead for Dementia Carer Voices. He was a carer for his late mother Joan for 5 years as she had vascular dementia. He told us about his beautiful mother, Joan Whitelaw, NOT the disruptive lady in bed 6! He talked about his experiences with health professionals during his time as  a carer and the importance of reassuring carers that they are doing a wonderful job. 

Tommy travels across Scotland to raise awareness of the impact of dementia on families and the importance of empowering carers to carry out their difficult but vital role. Lessons to be learnt for people caring for someone with any terminal condition. There was not a dry eye in the Conference!     

Joe Potts, Macmillan End of Life Care Facilitator, University Hospitals of North Midlands  is to be congratulated on a stimulating, thought provoking conference – a job really well done. 

Kath Curley, Staffs & Wolves Cancer Advocacy and Support Project Manager

Peter’s story, part 2

Last September, Helen Vernon, advocate from Sefton Pensioners’ Advocacy Centre, wrote a blog post telling us about Peter (not his real name). Helen provided Peter with the advocacy support that meant so much to him. You can find the first part of Peter’s story here. Today, we find out what happened next…

When I first met Peter, he told me he had terminal lung cancer and he had 12 months to live.  He contacted us because there were some issues with his accommodation and he wanted to resolve them with the housing association rather than waste his time moving, as mentioned in my earlier blog post.   He was very happy with the advocacy support and so a few months later when he was having health problems he contacted me again. 

Peter asked me to accompany him to an appointment, which I agreed to do.  Unfortunately, his health deteriorated suddenly after Christmas and the planned surgery was cancelled.   He obviously felt a sense that he needed to put things in order so he asked me to write a will for him.  As an individual can write his or her own will, it was agreed within the team that I could do this for him.  I explained to Peter that I was not giving legal advice but simply documenting his wishes and having them witnessed.  In fact, there was very little to leave and it will be used to pay for his funeral.

Peter was admitted to hospital then a hospice, discharged home and readmitted.  At each visit, I could see he was becoming frailer.  One of his relatives lived abroad and I kept her up to date with his condition at his request.  Before the final admission to the hospice, he spoke to me about wishing to go to a nursing home, as it was important to him to have his own television in the room and he felt the hospice was a dark place.  I agreed to visit him after the weekend and prior to this visit, I researched the availability of nursing beds in the area.  I arrived at the hospice and spoke to the nurse about his condition.  She told me to be prepared as Peter was not in the same condition as when I had seen him on the Friday.  She was right, he had deteriorated even further and his usual spark had faded.   

Over the past three years I have worked with lots of service users who have been given this diagnosis and sadly, I have closed several cases because the person has passed away.  However, for one reason or another this has been the first time I have had cause to visit someone in his or her final days in the hospice. Perhaps because this gentleman’s family all live abroad and so he did not have the same support networks, it was even more important that advocacy was there for him.  I spoke to the nursing staff earlier this week and his relative was on her way to be with him.

He once told me “advocacy gave me a lot of hope that things would improve and they did improve” and “advocacy kept me going”.  I hope in many small ways we have helped him along his journey.

Peter’s niece called me this morning to tell me that he sadly passed away on Saturday morning with his family at his side.

Helen Vernon, Sefton Pensioners’ Advocacy Centre

(Our thanks to Helen for this moving account of Peter’s end of life story and the obvious impact on Helen herself,  Marie, OPAAL)

We’re marking World Cancer Day

Since today, 4th February, is World Cancer Day, we wanted to mark it by sharing a story from our recent publication: Facing Cancer Together – demonstrating the power of independent advocacy.

Charlie’s story (as told by Karen his advocate with input from Pat, his wife)

Charlie was referred to the advocacy service by the Macmillan Benefits Advisor. He’d been a hospital inpatient for 9 months as he was still being fed through a PEG (a line straight into his stomach) after radiotherapy to treat throat cancer. He hadn’t been able to return home as an appropriate Care Package had failed to be put in place. Although he was free to leave during the day, he had to spend the night on the ward while the liquid feed was slowly fed into his stomach.

Charlie believed that the radiotherapy had ‘burned a hole in his throat’ and he had wanted to pursue a complaint about this but in fact this turned out not to be the case. Working with Karen his advocate he was able to understand better what was happening and why he was experiencing the symptoms he had. Charlie was also understandably really fed up at being stuck in hospital and wanted to get back to living as independent a life as possible.

Charlie and Pat

Charlie had a long history of alcohol abuse although he had long periods of sobriety. Throughout his adult life, during his more functional periods he had sustained a relationship with Pat and after his diagnosis she was there to support him. Unfortunately, prior to his diagnosis Charlie had been drinking heavily and found himself in a vulnerable situation where his flat was frequented by (often unwelcome) visitors and neither the location nor the condition of the flat meant it was a suitable place to be discharged to and for nursing staff to attend.

Due to his alcohol use, Charlie’s memory was very poor and when he was drinking he had been exploited financially by some individuals in his life. As a result a Power of Attorney was lodged with the local authority and his finances were controlled by a Deputy there.

Pat was keen to support Charlie and Karen his advocate quickly got to know them both. Together they were struggling to get things in place to facilitate Charlie’s discharge. Pat’s flat was too small to accommodate the medical equipment and visiting medical staff that this would entail and she understandably felt unable to take on the medical aspects of his care.

Pat describes Charlie at the point when he was first introduced to Karen, “He got very depressed. They kept saying they’d release him from the hospital, but it didn’t happen. They couldn’t sort out his care at home, so they couldn’t work out how to discharge him. He couldn’t eat, but he could drink alright. He told me he’d had enough.”

Charlie’s future was far from certain when Karen first met him, he’d had radiotherapy to treat his throat cancer but there was no definitive prognosis. Karen attended appointments with him and his partner (and latterly wife) Pat.

Karen supported Charlie at appointments, reminding him, ensuring hospital transport was in place and liaising as requested with health care professionals to ensure that he understood what was happening. She ensured he was supported to return to being able to eat some foods as soon as possible rather than taking all his nutrition via the PEG.

 

Once Charlie’s diagnosis became terminal, the focus of the advocacy centred on supporting him to stay in control of his life right to the end. Charlie desperately wanted to leave hospital and Pat and Charlie wanted to finally get married. The advocate was able to represent Charlie to both the Deputy administrating the Power of Attorney and his Social Worker to facilitate not only these wishes but also his wish to die at home.

Karen helped Charlie and Pat get appropriately graded on the housing list and successfully bid on a two bedroomed bungalow. When relations broke down with the Social Worker Karen negotiated on Charlie’s behalf so that he no longer had to deal with the individual who had made him feel very judged and misunderstood. When relations also broke down with the appointed Deputy all negotiations were carried out by Karen which alleviated some of the stress for Pat and Charlie.

Karen’s challenge to the attitudes Charlie encountered from some health and social care professionals meant that his wishes were respected and that, in spite of them not necessarily understanding his decisions, they were respected.

Karen and Pat

Charlie’s cancer returned shortly after he had begun to slowly eat solid food again and he was faced with a terminal diagnosis. Sadly, he passed away in December 2015.

Charlie’s wife Pat says, “Our advocate, Karen, helped with such a lot. She used to speak up to the County Council for me, because I didn’t want to get into another argument. She helped Charlie to get to his hospital appointments on time. She’d meet him in Poole to make sure he arrived. I’d have been lost if it wasn’t for Karen.”

 

You can read more stories about the power of independent advocacy support for older people affected by cancer in Facing Cancer Together which can be accessed and downloaded here

 

 

 

 

 

Watch our for our forthcoming publication of volunteer stories. It’s called Time: Our Gift To You. It’ll be available to read and download very soon.

 

 

 

 

Marie McWilliams, OPAAL

Our first wedding…

In today’s blog we celebrate a wedding, courtesy of Angela Jones, advocate with Cancer, Older People and Advocacy programme partner, Age Connects Cardiff and the Vale:

Mr Davies and Mrs Geasley are a couple who have been receiving some support from the Cancer, Older People and Advocacy team in relation to organising their finances, as sadly Mr Davies has terminal prostate cancer and his affairs needed sorting out to safeguard his partner’s future. 

We were delighted as part of the support we provided, to be able to assist in the organising of their wedding! A first for the Cardiff & Vale Cancer, Older People and Advocacy project! 

 

A truly lovely day where family and friends were able to spend a joyous afternoon helping the newlyweds Mr & Mrs Davies to celebrate their marriage and enjoy some quality time together, whilst he was receiving treatment in a local hospice.  Marie Curie Hospice were marvelous in facilitating the wedding and even the press were on hand to highlight the couple’s happiness.

 An afternoon that meant so much to many people, and helped secure some happy memories, and as part of the Cancer, Older People and Advocacy project I am privileged to have been allowed to also have been part of the organising of this special event. 

Angela Jones, Age Connects, Cardiff & the Vale

My cancer journey

Our thanks to Rod, who shares his story with us below:

Hello my name is Rod and I have recovered from cancer. I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. It was a bit of a surprise but when my wife told me that my left testicle felt like a walnut I thought I’d better get this checked out.

I had surgery to remove the testicle, a very quick operation by the way, and it only took a day before I was walking around again. What I found most difficult to deal with was waiting to find out, I found that more difficult than the treatment. I eventually went to see the consultant and he informed me that the testicle was cancerous and that I would have to undergo a course of treatment. The treatment made me feel sick all of the time and after the first session I got back home and threw up! They prescribed me a course of anti sickness tablets but they made it worse! In all honesty I wasn’t scared about having cancer, my friends were more worried than I was. Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t happy about having cancer, but I couldn’t change it, I just had to live with it.

Just because you have cancer doesn’t mean that how you live your life has to end. Friends tried to wrap me up in cotton wool and protect me. I was a bit physically limited in what I could do (feeling weak all the time) but I wouldn’t let it stop me from going out and enjoying myself.

The consultant said that is was possible that the cancer could spread through my lymphatic system so the course of treatment was shortish but aggressive. What surprised me the most was still being able to have a physical relationship with my wife, which resulted in the birth of our twins, one of each, I was dead chuffed.

A while later I thought something was wrong again, as I was having constant diarrhoea. Consequently I had a endoscopy, which found nothing, and then a colonoscopy, where various polyps were removed. When I next saw the consultant he informed me that they were in the early stages of change. This time I was a bit worried, as this is what my father had died from. As it turns out I was fortunate, as this was caught early and very recently I received the all clear.

 

Rod

My volunteering

I am currently unemployed and signed off until April 2017. As a consequence I have plenty of time to spare. I was looking through the doit.org website and came across the peer advocate position, with Sefton Pensioners Advocacy. Certainly when my father was diagnosed with cancer there seemed little or no help or support, which really hadn’t changed that much when I was diagnosed.  I felt that through my own cancer journey and other members of my family I had something to offer in terms of support and guidance.

I have had two clients so far and they have very different stories. Although they are my clients I prefer to just think of them as people that I am supporting. They have both been unique, facing different issues and challenges. One client has already recovered from one form of cancer, only to find out that she has another. There are other complications as well, mostly to do with chronic pain, which she is having treatment for. The main issue this lady has is with mobility, as she had no blue badge she found it difficult to get around as she was limited to where she could park. I successfully applied for her blue badge, which has completely changed things for her, she can now drive to the local village and park outside the supermarket to do her shopping. She is really, really pleased with this as it has given her a greater sense of freedom. Her details were forwarded to the DWP and now she and her husband both receive attendance allowance. Now they can afford to have the house cleaned and garden maintained, which is very important to them both.

My second client has been completely different. He was diagnosed with lung cancer, which had spread to his brain and his diagnosis was terminal. His eyesight was also failing. His behaviour was challenging at times but a lot of this was sheer and utter frustration at not being able to express himself fully. I first visited him in hospital, with a colleague, and his behaviour was challenging. To be fair he had been in hospital for the best part of a month. Eventually he was discharged and he returned home and I was able to support him in terms of getting there, making sure a hospital bed was installed (he had been sleeping on the floor) and ensuring food was delivered (thank you Foodbank). However this only lasted one night and he was then readmitted to hospital. He was then reassessed and admitted to a nursing home. He was much happier with this as he had the space of the whole lower ground floor and a greater sense of freedom. I was able to support him in terms of getting more clothes and taking him to his property, to help him sort through his important documents and things.

He was initially worried about his funeral and also getting in contact with his estranged daughter. On investigation it became apparent that he already had a funeral plan. I helped him to make contact with his daughter again and also arranged for him to have regular communion. During the days before his death he deteriorated drastically, not communicating at all. As he was on morphine every three hours this was hardly surprising. Although I knew he had terminal cancer I still found it a shock when his nursing home informed me that he had died at 6:30am that morning. There were things that I still wanted to guide him with. I have an immense feeling of frustration that I was not able to help as much as I could, but sometimes things just work out that way. The final thing I could do for him was to make sure his daughter was aware of his final wishes and thus I made sure to communicate these to her.

I attended his funeral to pay my last respects.

Advocacy for me so far has been, challenging, frustrating but ultimately rewarding and will continue to be so.

Rod, Sefton Pensioners’ Advocacy Centre

“Advocacy kept me going”

Today we hear from Helen Vernon, advocate at programme partner Sefton Pensioners’ Advocacy Centre about Peter, one of the older people affected by cancer she has supported:

Peter referred himself to the Cancer Older People and Advocacy project after a diagnosis of cancer in June 2015. He had recently been told he was palliative.  He had spent 16 months in hospital with a collapsed lung.  Peter had moved in 2014 but regretted the decision due to some issues with the housing association. 

Peter had discovered that there was an electrical cupboard/water tank next to his flat.  His bedroom wall was on the other side of this cupboard and he found his sleep was severely disturbed.  We looked into the option of rehousing but Peter felt that since his diagnosis was terminal he didn’t want to spend the time he had left on a waiting list or moving house. Instead we asked that remedial work be carried out to alleviate the problem.

I negotiated with the housing association who had put in a request for the job to be completed, but it had been delayed because a surveyor hadn’t been to the flat.  The housing association actioned the job immediately.  I then continued to liaise with the housing association to make sure the job took place and that Peter was satisfied.  

In addition to this I contacted the Department of Work and Pensions to ensure that Attendance Allowance had been started and I explained to him when the payments would take place.

Peter’s family all live abroad and he felt strongly that they should be allowed to live their lives without worrying about him.  He spoke to me at length about his life and his feelings about the cancer. 

When the case was closed I asked Peter what he had thought about the advocacy process.   He said “(Advocacy) gave me a lot of hope that things would improve and they did improve, it (advocacy) kept me going”.

Helen Vernon

I recently contacted Peter again and he has asked me to revisit him as there are now some issues around his hospital care.  He would like me to write to the hospital on his behalf and to attend appointments with him.  A new case will bring new challenges as his health is declining, but with advocacy support Peter’s wishes will be represented and his voice heard.

Helen Vernon, advocate, Sefton Pensioners’ Advocacy Centre

How our steering group helps us to network and build partnerships

Our Local Cancer Champions Board, the steering group for Dorset Macmillan Advocacy, changed its name in 2014 to Cancer in Older People Development Group.  Members wanted to create a group that could, in addition to overseeing our service at strategic level, bring together people interested in improving patient experience for people over 50 affected by cancer and their carers. They felt that the new name was more self explanatory and we are fortunate to have an interesting mix of people on the group.

As Dorset Macmillan Advocacy is delivered by two organisations in partnership the steering group sought to meet alternately on different sides of the county.  Meetings have been hosted since 2014 by Lewis Manning Hospice in Poole and since last year by Joseph Weld Hospice in Dorchester.  We have benefited from learning about the hospices and our presence there has raised our profile with their staff and visitors.

We also invite local guests to the group meetings such as the project lead for the Macmillan Information Scoping Project which took place last year and the director of Dorset Living Well Active, a physical activity project which is a partnership between Macmillan and Sport England.  The group can explore joint working at both strategic and operational level and this really enhances the daily  networking that staff and volunteer advocates do.

The new Chief Executive of Weldmar Hospice Care Trust, Caroline Hamblett, joined our last meeting in May and described the variety of community services that the hospice provides. Senior Sister Sally-Anne Baverstock then gave the group a tour of the facilities which include 14 in-patient beds all with views over the beautiful garden and countryside beyond.  We’ll arrange a visit for our team of volunteer advocates in the near future.

Pictured left to right are Sally-Anne, Paul Hickman, Chair of Trustees at Help and Care, Emily Brown, Senior Volunteer Coordinator at Dorset Advocacy, Jenny Rimmer, Macmillan Senior Advocate at Dorset Advocacy, Bob Smith, volunteer advocate.

Kathleen Gillett, Dorset Macmillan Advocacy

 

 

I have gained a lot from her and she has made me stronger just by listening to her

In today’s Volunteers Week story we hear from Audrey one of our volunteer peer advocates who supported Eleanor who had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer:

Eleanor is a very strong person, she is coping with her cancer as well as keeping her family happy. I really do admire her strength. She has a strong family around her. Although she is sad her two sons will not be around she does have contact with them. She just wanted to sort her house out; she wanted to decorate and renew as she is leaving her house to her daughter. This she was able to do with the extra benefits she was entitled to.

She is suffering with lung cancer and it’s terminal. Her treatment this time around is harsh, she is losing more time to the treatment than she is to the cancer. She has decided she is not having any more treatment unless it will give her more time. I have visited her at home and will continue to do so.

Audrey

She was referred to our service through a relative of mine who knew we did something with cancer advocacy. She was worried about how she was going to manage on the money she had as she had lots of things she wanted to do before the cancer stopped her.

When I first met her I realised we knew each other by sight, but not by name. She was okay with this and so was I. We talked about times gone by when we were both younger and got to know each other quite well. She always asks how I am when I go and visit. She never sits and talks about herself unless I bring up the subject by asking what she has been up to; hospital visits or appointments she is waiting for.

I have gained a lot from her and she has made me stronger just by listening to her. She never feels sorry for herself even when the treatment has her down. She still manages a smile. She has had her money sorted and has done her house the way she wanted. She has had a couple of holidays which is what she wanted. She is sad at the minute, because of the treatment she has lost days. She could have been doing so much if she did not feel so tired. She is pain free but struggles to breathe.

I still see Eleanor regularly to give my support to her through her good and bad days. I am there when she needs me to help her.

 

 

You can read Elinor’s story in full along with Audrey’s view in our publication Every Step of the Way which can be accessed here

 

Marie McWilliams, OPAAL